Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I am one with the molecules
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
