Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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