I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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