I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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