Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I love you. Go after that dick
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
