Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I enjoy the company of your penis
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
