It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
