Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
