I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
