she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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