He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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