Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
