How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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