THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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