I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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