i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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