I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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