Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
