How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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