Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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