I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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