Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
