just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
