omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
