every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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