Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
