haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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