I cockslap morals
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
