When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
