We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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