i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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