Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I didn't notice because vodka
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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