Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She said her name was "party"
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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