I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
