Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
