hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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