Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
