What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
