I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
did you just send me my own nude
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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