he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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