i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
