She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
