why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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