Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
