Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
