You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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