so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
