and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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