i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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