with your own penis?
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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