Rock
Scissors
Fuck
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
