I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize