Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
