Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
