The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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