we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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