final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
