forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
