what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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