It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize