I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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