One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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