Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
