Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
