she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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