Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
