We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
