Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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