if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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