your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
