I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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