how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
