He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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