ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
