So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
