I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
