I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Say something about gay babies.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
