So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
