sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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